What Motivates You to Share Family Stories and Histories?
While considering ways to encourage and equip you, I realized motivation precedes the first step of action.
I’m interested in what motivates or discourages you from sharing family stories and histories with kin, friends, and maybe even strangers. There is no judgement on my part. I’m just curious. And I hope you are, too.
What motivates you?
What drives your willingness to share family stories?
- Curiosity?
- Solving family mysteries?
- Growing up in a family of storytellers? Or enjoy hearing family stories?
- Feeling the joy of sharing interesting stories you’ve discovered?
- Preparing for an upcoming birth, marriage, or anniversary in the family?
- Giving a eulogy or writing an obituary?
- Regretting you didn’t ask more questions before a loved one passed?
- Honoring ancestors?
- Leaving a legacy for grandchildren and other descendants?
- Conviction that family stories and histories matter?
- Protecting your genealogy research from being trashed or deleted when you pass away?
- Paying it forward by sharing with your children the family stories your parents told you?
- Desiring to give a loved one a precious gift that money can’t buy?
- Educating or warning future generations based on our hard-won lessons in life?
- Preserving memories?
- Looking back and questioning what you understood and assumed as a child?
- Confronting a challenge and wondering if an ancestor’s grit and gumption is hereditary?
- Facing your own mortality?
- Approaching retirement and considering important and beneficial uses of your time?
- Receiving a report of a loved one’s sobering prognosis?
- Loving words and stories?
- Exploring your identity, meaning, and purpose in life?
- Connecting with your generation, and with other generations?
- Helping your child or grandchild with a homework assignment about the family?
- Something else?
What demotivates you?
What keeps you from sharing family stories?
- Having little interest in family stories or histories?
- Waiting until you know more?
- Not knowing where to start?
- Having few or no living direct ancestors or descendants?
- Supposing family stories are only for those who can identify biological relatives?
- Feeling frustrated trying to figure out hodgepodge relationships in families?
- Fearing others would criticize or make fun of your work?
- Thinking no one would be interested?
- Crippling perfectionism?
- Feeling your story is uninteresting?
- Believing there is only one approach—and it’s not one you want to take?
- Feeling hurt by, or resentment toward, family members?
- Comparing others’ talents to yours?
- Judging your weaknesses against another person’s strengths?
- Living in a stage of life filled with commitments to family, work, or other obligations?
- Overcommitting and overcrowding your schedule?
- Overwhelming thoughts of what it would take?
- Not enjoying working alone?
- Thinking you can’t interview? Research? Record? Write? Share?
- Assuming your stories or words don’t matter?
- Wanting to avoid family trauma and rifts?
- Perceiving the costs of time and effort not worth any imaginable benefits?
- Prior negative experiences attempting to gather family information?
- Feeling shame about the choices and actions of some family members?
- Something else?
Your story matters. Your family stories matter. And so do the factors that motivate you to share—or not share—them.
Resources
Below are three articles you may be interested in:
1. Fivush, Robyn, Ph.D., “Why Family Storytelling Is Good for Us,” Psychology Today, Family Dynamics, posted 23 Feb 2024, reviewed by Ray Parker, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-stories-of-our-lives/202402/why-family-storytelling-is-good-for-us : accessed 16 Jan 2026).
2. Kitchen, Melissa Ann, “10 Quotes to Motivate You with Writing Your Family Stories,” 01 Oct 2023 (https://www.melissaannkitchen.com/blog/10-quotes-to-motivate-you-with-writing-your-family-stories : accessed 16 Jan 2026).
3. Tuhin, Muhammad, “The Psychology of Motivation: What Really Drives Us,” Science News Today, Psychology, 24 Jun 2024, https://www.sciencenewstoday.org/the-psychology-of-motivation-what-really-drives-us : accessed 16 Jan 2026).
- What motivates you to share your family stories?
- Do you have a specific memory, quote, or tangible item you return to when you need motivation and encouragement?
- What keeps you from sharing your family stories?
- How would you encourage or equip others to share their family stories with their loved ones?